Time Traveler Warns Springfield About New Walmart’s Impact

Spikey-hair guy from the future

Springfield, MO- A crowd was amazed yesterday when a time traveler hailing from Springfield’s near future decried  the construction of the new Neighborhood market on Campbell Street.

The traveler, named Kyle Reese, said that the market will spell doom for downtown, Springfield, and the world. Wearing super futuristic glasses and hair all spiked up and “future like”, Kyle boldly spoke against the market.

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The strange visitor introduced several reasonable questions such as: Will the market destroy local businesses? Is time travel possible? Why does his story seem to be a hodge-podge compilations of 80′s movie plots? Wasn’t Kyle Reese the name of the time traveling dude in Terminator? But, the most important question seems to be: Aren’t you 26-year-old Kevin Flagstone of 1212 Maple Way, Springfield Missouri?

Kyle denied claims that he is nothing more than a part time video clerk, but really a man who traveled through time to save his people who must now leave for mysterious reasons…not because his next shift is coming up.