Woman Blows Pants Off at Chili Cook-Off

Gas blasts away woman’s pants exposing chili butt

Springfield, MO – Hundreds of eyewitnesses gave firsthand accounts of a woman who had flatuleted her own pants away at the 32^nd Sertoma Chili Cook-Off. Spectators suggest she consumed too much chili for her own good very early in the day and all the beans caught up to her in the end. “I….I was standing behind her,” said a trembling Howard Tifferton, “I heard a tremendous explosion from her backside. She dropped a bomb of a fog slicer. When I gained consciousness I had her pant materials on my leg. She released a flame thrower that ripped apart her pants…I still have horrible flashbacks…and the material.”

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Most observers and survivors of the incident were completely befuddled by the woman’s undergarments keeping intact. “Yeah, I’m thankful she kept those but how does that happen? It must have been a mean mustard gas that seeped out, built up pressure and then ripped away. Talk about a skunk in your trunk,” said Polly Versailles, “I can just imagine her horror when she finally realized her force-fart provided a butt cheek boondoggle.”