Super Bowl Party Celebrates Peak Physical Performers By Sloth and Gluttony

One super party

Springfield, MO- All across the Springfield area numerous fans are getting ready to celebrate the nation’s top athletics by  sitting and eating. Even though most Springfiendians have no real connections to either teams, they are more than willing to partake in a orgy of friend and fatty foods all in the name of pure athleticism.

“This game is going to be awesome,” says Marvin Gunther. “I have all my snacks laid out by order of ‘give me a heart attack in a couple years’ to ‘immediate artery closer’ and a make a 6 headed straw so I can drink 6 beers and once. Now I just got to find out who is playing.”

While recently divorced Marvin is going to be viewing the game alone, many others are having huge Super Bowl Bashes.  Most parties will feature: chicken wings, potatoe  skins,  nacho’s, chips, whole pigs and deep fried bacon. All devoured by the fist full to pay homage to the players. Some parties will go take the game to the next level.

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McHaven tells FCN that the party will have a nacho cheese fountain, a four foot tall raven made out of fudge, a kiddie pool filled with beer, and the last surviving twinkie.

“I had to solved numerous Da Vinci Code style clues to find it, but it was worth all the time on the world. Of course none of the party goers will be able to eat it, just lick it once or twice.”

With the big game on Sunday, many hospitals are on stand by with defibrillators and passing out pamphlets on how to save someone while they are choking on a entire cheese ball.