Resolutionist Resolves to Relax
FairCityNews.com | Jan 02, 2013 | Comments 0
A resolution easy to keep
Springfield, MO – Ralph Robbermerg has claimed a new resolution – to become a Relaxation Resolutionist. Maxing the most of his life, Robbermerg has committed to reading fiction, playing video games and hanging around a pool whenever possible.
“Listen, I’ve worked for most of my life and all I really have at the end of the day is a big stack of worry to deal with. Be it bills, work projects or meeting person’s expectations. No more. Viva la Resolution!” screamed Robbermerg as he plopped himself into a reclining chair.
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With most citizens fear the fiscal cliff, alien attacks or the uncovering of the next doomsday prediction, Robbermerg has made it clear that his 2013 will be worry-free. “Hey if this globe we call home starts spinning off its axis, and Americans are faced to pay more taxes, I’ll be the one laughing in the tanning bed sipping a margarita,” said Robbermerg.
Robbermerg plans to finance his relaxation resolution by destroying his near-perfect credit history. Responsibility has earned him at least 4 years of what he calls “a credit card culture of life” where he charges all relaxation related fees to major credit companies. Financial analysis friend Jessica Totherton speculates that, “Ralph may end up paying less over the next four years by living off of credit cards. Most people are going to see huge tax increases and the cost of living is always rising. We just narrowly avoided a Milk price hike…I think a lot of people are going to look back at what he’s done and be very envious.”
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