The Dentist – Motivational Speaker

Let’s face it (no pun intended), The Dentist, while probably a decent human being, SUCKS!!  Nobody, and I mean Nobody, likes to go to The Dentist.  All the horror of humanity is ingested and, at times, spewed out of this ghastly ring we call our mouth and there is only one that truly knows what lurks inside…The Dentist.  While you only see your physician when needed, you MUST see The Dentist twice a year and they know everything there is to know about you…for they have peered into the abyss and have seen you soul.  Sure, they can call it what they want but this appointment is far more than just the repairing of that lateral incisor…it is a religious experience.  While you cling to the silver railing of the teal, pleather-covered recliner, the lights blind you and before you know it…they’re inside.  The faint whisper of smooth jazz is overrun by the revolting sound of the mini-chainsaw shaped drill that will soon be making contact with your upper molar.  Your first instinct is to run, but the dental assistant’s breasts rest firmly against your arm making it hard for you to move.  You close your eyes and wait…finally…it is over.  You leave sore, but never really knowing exactly what happened…like an MU fan at an SEC football game.  Man or Women, Angel or Demon, Democrat or Republican, Christian or Jew…The Dentist comes in all shapes and sizes…just remember, they hold all the cards and know your inner most secrets.  The motivation here is simple…be good to them my friends…for if you don’t, you might wake one day strapped to a bar stool, with no stool, wearing nothing but a white coat and a smile with a toothbrush in one hand and some floss in the other…oh yeah…and a really, really bad taste in your mouth.  Not Good!!

Keep em’ comin’ and watch em’ go…
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