Hammons, Pitt & Morris Combine to Defeat Mayan Apocalypse, World Celebrates

Infinity symbol and phrase “rinse & repeat” added to Mayan Calendar

Springfield, MO – After months of secret collaborative efforts three native Springfield businessmen have successfully thwarted the impending doom predicted by final days of the Mayan Calendar. John Q. Hammons, Brad Pitt and Johnny Morris appeared disheveled and bruised early this morning but beamed proudly at their world-saving accomplishment.

According to reports, the men played separate but active parts in the prevention plan. Morris weathered years of negative press regarding the construction delay of Wonders of Wildlife, while he secretly built a space time continuum travel device in the center of the structure. “The wait was well worth the results we achieved. We were able to finish the hidden device on schedule to travel back in time to recover a key piece of the puzzle,” said a representative for Morris.

pharmacy australia cialis It is interesting to note here that in spite of visiting the doctor for the same medicines in the United States. cheap sale viagra One possible cause of impotence is side effects of medications. The most common cause of this sexual problem is anxiety in men most of the men are getting sildenafil canada pharmacy hyper instantly it will affect on your sexual health. This structure is based upon the efficiency level in order to act as a PDE5 canadian pharmacy for cialis inhibitor, and lasts up to 36 hours in one’s system. Hammons endured months of health speculation and seclusion studying the ancient Mayan culture and pinpointing the exact time and location where history could be extended and civilization saved. “John Q. was reportedly admitted to a hospice facility. It was the perfect cover and provided him the opportunity to focus exclusively on learning and understanding the Mayan language, their astrological understanding and the delicate implications of inter-dimensional time travel,” reported a source close to him.

“Brad Pitt sacrificed his life to save our world as we know it. He volunteered to jump back in time, assimilate within the existing culture and worked his way into the highest ranking, most influential circles of priests during the construction of the Mayan Calander. He took the knowledge Hammons provided and infiltrated the astrological ranks of the ancient civilization and convinced the celestial architects to include one simple symbol (∞) and phrase (*rinse and repeat) onto the calendar,” said Pitt’s publicist.

“Ozarkians across the plateau and civilians of Earth owe a great debt of gratitude to these heroic Springfieldian sons,” said Mayor Bob Stephens during his annual Google + Hangout to the populace after he attended the End of the World Party last night at the Outland Ballroom featuring Shock Top end of the world midnight wheat beer.