5 Guys Burgers Seriously Considering Hiring 6th Guy

5 guys not enough for this crowd

Springfield, MO- With the opening of “5 Guys Burgers” in the Battlefield Mall many Springfield patrons are flocking to the new eating establishment which is causing stress to the only 5 employees.

“I don’t know what we were thinking,” said Joseph “Guy 3” Barton while he simultaneously took 3 orders and bused 2 tables. “We were just having a couple beers, playing poker, and thought it would be fun to open a business. We thought either burger joint or cigar shop. Should have picked cigar shop, no one goes to cigar shop.”

The 5 friends have to share numerous jobs such as: greeting customers, taking orders, routine maintenance , busing tables, CFO duties, picking up deliveries, research and development, and security.

The guys desperately want to hire more guys, but it is hard to find the time.

“I haven’t seen my family in days,” said Martin “Guy 2” Conner. “I haven’t slept, I have been surviving on burger scraps on peanuts, and I feel like if I stop moving I will die, like a shark.”
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Some guys are taking the pressure more than others.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said Jack “Guy 4” Paterson. “I just strap my baby on my back and “Face Time” with my wife while I fix that stupid soda machine. And in between orders I jot down lines for my novel I am writing. It is about burgers.”

The guys are mostly worried about what happens when the 5 Guys on the north side of town opens.

“2.5 guys per restaurant just won’t be enough,” said Jack “Guy 1” Chambers. “And research and development won’t have the Burger Bot 4000 or cloning ready for months. I guess we are going to make it work.”

Tommy “Guy 5” was not available for comment because he was rocking in the fetal position and crying.