Shades of Grey’s Anatomy: Skaggs Takes Cox

Because Cox is such a better name

Branson, MO – In a predetermined course of events, Skaggs will take Cox even deeper. Cox entered Skaggs this past summer giving birth to a new family member in Branson. Next month, Skaggs will officially become Cox and light snickering will ensue. While this isn’t the first time Skaggs and Cox have been connected, this is the most memorable name merger/change in Southwest Missouri. “The last time I heard of a skagg taking a cox, I was at a downtown dance club,” said Harold Mimickan of Shell Knob.

“I thought Skaggs taking Cox was something out of my wife’s skanky romance novel…Great, now instead of going to Skaggs, a name usually reserved for an unusual woman who thinks she’s much hotter than she is, I now have to patronize Cox, a name that seems more fit for erectile dysfunction,” said Norman Shiffer, of Branson.
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Most locals believe Skaggs actually prefer Cox in general, but some would have enjoyed seeing different naming options presented. Some proposed alternatives include, “Skaggy-Cox”, “CoxSkag”, and even ‘Co-Ska” or “CoSk”. The new merger in July prompted several request for the 165-bed Branson hospital to be named “Skaggalicious” however the official petition failed to reach enough signatures.

“I used to say I was a Skaggs birth, but now kids will have to claim they came from Cox, which in both cases isn’t completely untrue,”  said Julie McTimley. The merger does represent the most offensively named hospital partnership since 1846 when Cockered and Fen-Sucked combined to form CFS Health in Pittsburg, PA. “I can’t believe this is happening,” said McTimley, “Only in the Ozarks can a Skagg become a Cox.”