Som-Bitch Soldier Decorations Now Available

Springfield, MO – Som-bitches around the Ozarks can now express their holiday spirit by placing an oversized, blown-up, redneck soldier in their yards. The crop-top wearin’, belly-showing, mustached inflatable is complete with hunting cap and beer can in the left hand.

According to the manufacturer Hey Y’all Watch This, consumer demand for a more culturally representative holiday inflatable is at an all-time high. “People want to have holiday decorations that they can relate to. In the Ozarks, a gigantic soldier was cool, but we found that more people would prefer to have a som-bitch soldier to display on their property,” said Randy Twentyton, VP of Research & Development for HYWT.

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Sales of the som-bitch soldier have skyrocketed and HYWT plans to release molded yard ornaments featuring the manger scene soon. “We already have in development one version of baby Jesus with poorly executed prison-style forearm tattoos, wise men riding ATVs instead of animals, and a 250-pound Mary wearing sweatpants,” said Twentyton.