Casinos Eye Indian Ridge Auction

Auction presents ample opportunity for outside interests

Branson, MO – Several groups have expressed interest in cultivating the land known as Indian Ridge into a world-class casino located in the heartland; the land goes on auction soon and several buyers are preparing their top-dollar bids.

“Our people have been cultivating this land for centuries,” said Little Big Hand, an American Native who has aspirations of opening a casino in the Branson area, “why shouldn’t we redirect water ways to make a river through the valley to place a floating structure of chance and luck upon it?”

Others are more apprehensive and suggest that the land could be used as an off-track betting site. “with a few hundred dollars, I could place some tv screens inside one of the hotels, er houses that are almost finished and be ready to take bets on action around the world,” said Slick Pockets of an outside interest group in New Jersey.

More than ample interest is streaming in, and some of the most concerning interest groups include extreme paint ball enthusiasts and government entities determined to purchase the half-finished dwellings to be used as a facility for closed-quarters combat training. “The opportunities presented would simulate mountainous regions and half-finished housing. These conditions are hard to find within the continental United States, but as the housing market continues to dwindle we are finding more chances to take advantage of ‘economic rebounds’,” said Major Whogivesacrap.

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