Centerfold Strip Club Opens “Fishing Pond” For Ultimate Man Experience

Stripper fish on the rise in the Ozarks

Springfield, MO- With Centerfold Strip Club already offering steak, suds, and strippers, the business recently added one more manly endeavor to the mix: fishing. A domed complex was added behind the main dance floor so patrons can calming fish while watching fine ladies dance to their pleasure.

“We are going to offer numerous packages,” states Louie Fatts, a worker at the club. “Of course they can do the normal guy thing and fish in silence while they….enjoy the show {wink}. Or a stripper can dance in the boat with him. In those cases she will be gyrating very careful to not upset the fish and overturn the boat. And finally the strippers will actually fish with you while making awkward guy small talk, handing you beers, and spitting.”

The club also has plans for a “mermaid package” where costumers “catch” swimming mermaids who then give them a flipper dance. But, as of now the dancers will stay on the shore dancing in duck blinds, waist-deep in cattails, or knee deep in scummy pond water.

With a change of scenery also comes a change of costumes. Dancers will trading in their usual attire for duck decoys put over their chest, simply wearing life vests, and having live small mouth bass draped over their bodies.

“Those things are hot. When those fish flapping everywhere you never know how much you can see,” states a creepy, bearded, old man who is always at every strip club ever, all the time.

“Sure is nice to get away from it all,” states local fisherman Hank Harlow. “Nothing but the calm water, the biting fish, and young women paying their way through med school. Also telling my wife I am going fishing is a great loop hole.”

With the dome complete the dancers are excited to show their stuff.

“So this is rock bottom,” stated someone’s little girl while dancing ankle deep in mud. “At least they started putting dollars in my g-string instead of minnows.”

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