Rush Limbaugh Bust Put Under Surveillance

Vandals encouraged to deface the face of radio

Jefferson City (MO) – The House of Representatives has spent $1,100 on a security camera installed specifically to monitor a bust of conservative radio show host Rush Limbaugh to honor those who choose to vandalize it.

Chief Clerk Adam Crumbliss asked that the camera be installed because of concerns that the bust would be vandalized, and no one would know who to give credit to, according to House staff. The bronze bust was placed in the Hall of Famous Missourians this week, after the General Assembly adjourned.

The money for the camera comes from the House Contingency Fund, which covers unanticipated costs related to disgracing bigots, sexists, and/or racists.

There was controversy surrounding Limbaugh’s induction into the Hall of Famous Missourians, but would-be protestors of the bust were eased when it was announced that any vandalism of Limbaugh’s likeness would be monitored and awarded.

“It makes everyone happy,” said Crumbliss following the installation of the camera. “The conservatives get one of their heroes in the Hall, and liberals get recognized for defacing a statue of a man who once said that ‘the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons,’ and without punishment.”

In fact, vandals of the bust will also get a gift car to Chili’s.

The real downside to this desecration allowance is that House janitorial staff is constantly having to clean and repair the bust, but “it’s worth it,” according to Crumbliss. The security officers seem to be suffering the most from the camera’s installation, because they have to spend all day staring at the giant bronze head of a man who has a “face for radio.”

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