New Madrid Fault Is A Real Prima Donna

This fault thing is such a bother

Springfield, MO – The New Madrid fault flexed its muscles yesterday just to show people that it still exists. “Yeah I tossed a 4.0 on they badselves just because I can,” said the fault, “boo-yah humans!”

Reports indicate that the New Madrid fault line experiences far less publication than other more popular fault lines in the United States and simply wants to have more attention. “The New Madrid fault line is a bad mother-licker. For the most part, it has kept pretty quiet – but if it decides to go, it could cause a world of hurt for middle America,” said geological survey tech Rodney Smitterin.

According to the New Madrid fault, it simply wants street cred and not to undermine urban sprawl and human lives. “I’m a massive damn fault line. People better be showing me some respect up in here!” said the fault line, “I tossed down some light shakes just to remind peeps of my awesome power.”

The quake, which was felt in 13 states, scared several people who lived near the epicenter. “I don’t know what to do short of offering sacrifices or placing honey upon the fault to appease its drama queen attitude,” said Hank Yithers. “One thing I will not do is earthquake-proof my home or move away. I mean it isn’t that big of a deal here in Missouri,” before he was swallowed up by an earthquake induced sinkhole.

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