Springfield’s Employed/Unemployed Use YouTube to Escape Grim Reality

YouTube addicts hooked watching self-made videos

Springfield, MO – Much like the 1930′s, when thousands of unemployed workers took to
movie theaters to escape their grim reality of joblessness, thousands of laid off
workers use YouTube as a means for modern escapism. Also, the gainfully employed use
YouTube just as much to escape their own reality. In fact, according to a recent study, the numbers are exactly the same.

“I just can’t take it anymore. Every day is complete hopelessness. I wake up, and think ‘why did this happen to me,’” says Greg Marksfield, an employee of a prestigious accounting firm. “I start my day with an hour of funny cat videos, have a 3-hour lunch break entertained by funny dog videos, and end my day with 45-minutes of awesome sports injuries. I know it seems like a waste of time, but I need to be transported into another world, a world where cats freak out, like all the time.”

Ironically, that is almost the exact same schedule of Mark Lucas, who has been out of work for 18 months. “After rising and before I hit any of the job boards, I need to pump myself up with 2 hours of funny monkey videos, then I have lunch alone being entertained by some funny videos of kids falling down, then I end my day with 45-minutes of awesome car wrecks. I just have to keep my mind off my bleak present and future. The videos really help me out. For 2 minutes I am the funny monkeys, not some jobless loser,” said Lucas.

The recent report shows that typical workers waste about 5 hours a day on Pandora, YouTube, Facebook, and (at .0000000000001%) MySpace. It also shows that the jobless use the same internet sites as distractions from their unemployment for 5 and half hours a day.  Even in the most desperate of situations, where people have to live in tent villages (or Hoovervilles), they use smart phones and tablets to surf the net.

“This is a great time for us,” states Mike (from Mike N Gary, a YouTube based sketch group that recently gained a YouTube partnership and has thousands of hits a day). “People hate their jobs, people hate not having jobs. People need to laugh and have an attention span of 2 minutes. This is a golden age of YouTube.”

Bosses are thinking of ways to curtail YouTube use at the office, but all the previous tactics are falling short. Some ideas on the drawing board are:  shock collars, YouTube smelling dogs, and becoming Amish.

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