College Students Inconvenienced By Classes

Beer filled bathtubs will be on the decline as classes start

Springfield, MO- With college classes starting this week, many college students dread the fast pace rat race of academia. Many of the students, being out school since May, know they will have trouble getting back to the flow of lectures, labs, and extracurricular activities.

“I can’t believe we have to go back already,” states Brad Parson. “I am used to partying ever night. Now I can only party Wednesday through Saturday night. I guess I can party the other days, but I have to skip class…hmm, oh wait, I will just do that. All the time.”

Brad is not the only student who has to get used to the hectic, schedule-filled college lifestyle.

“I am used to staying up all night, and getting up at noon. Now I can only stay up from 2 and have to get up at 11 to make it to class. I am living an Orwellian nightmare,” states communications major Candi Williams.

Other sacrifices college students have to make during the school year are: showering more than twice a month, cutting down to 2 naps a day, and having to wear pants all day.

“I have no time for myself. I don’t know how I am going to make it the next 3 months to my month long Christmas break. Sure I have Labor Day and Thanksgiving, but that won’t be enough. I have class 9-2:30. I am practically working at a Soviet era gulag,” states business major Randle Majors.

Not everyone has a negative attitude about the school year. Mary Sheaperson, a psychology major states, “I am sure it will all be worth it. I mean in America once you get out of college you are all most guaranteed a job. Right?”

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