Springfield Doctors Embrace Fox News Study

These guys approve!

Springfield, MO – Patients gathered in waiting rooms across Springfield may be surprised to find out they’re participating in an on-going experiment to measure the short-term effects of watching Fox News Channel. The study requires patients to sit in a waiting room for at least 20 minutes while being exposed to Fox News.  When the patient is called, blood pressure readings are immediately taken along with other stress related vital statistics. The patient is then required to wait in the exam room for another 5-10 minutes, for the effects to abate, before the doctor sees them.

“When we were told by the American Medical Association that we could show non-stop Fox News in our waiting rooms, we jumped at the opportunity…to be a part of this study,” said a doctor at Ferrell-Duncan Clinic. “After all, it is our duty to advance medical science any time we have the opportunity.”

This particular study has been running for more than ten years now and experts believe that it could continue far into the future to explore more long-term effects as well.  Although some doctors have opted not to participate, the vast majority of the Springfield medical community has volunteered, including primary doctors, dentists, and podiatrists. Other businesses have shown interest in participating as well, including local banks and Wal-marts.

“Our goal is to exploit any waiting areas with a captive audience,” said a local AMA representative.  “We firmly believe that by exposing more people to Fox News Channel we will ultimately benefit ourselves…the science I mean.”

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