Royal Couple to Honeymoon in Branson

A poor artist rendering of William and Kate in go karts at The Track

Branson, MO—According to Royal sources, William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, are headed to Branson for their regal honeymoon this month. Catherine and William, who had been under a microscope by the wacky Royalists (those who fantasize about royalty) in the weeks leading up to their wedding, sought some privacy for the getaway following their ceremony.

The locations of their future honeymoon was not to be disclosed in advance and was only known to take place overseas, however, one member of the wedding party was seen wearing a Silver Dollar City hat, which led to speculation that the Duke and Duchess were in for a week of Branson’s finest entertainment.

William confessed, “Yes, we are looking forward to the bustling entertainment strip with more than 100 shows. We plan to pick up tickets at a roadside ticket center on the drive into town.”

Yakov Smirnoff Theatre officials released a statement saying, “In England, Royal couple is seen by everyone; in America, Royal Couple comes to see you!”

Queen Elizabeth suggested the couple go to a unique vacation destination where they could enjoy some privacy as well as be close to the King, at the Elvis Experience.

Kate said, “We’ve secured some brilliant coupons, such as 2-for-1 dinner tickets at the Dixie Stampede, and buy 3 t-shirts, get one free. I can’t wait to taste Funnel Cake at the Landing!”

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