John Q Hammons Returns as powerful “Hammons the White”
FairCityNews.com | Apr 15, 2011 | Comments 0
Astral Plain, MO- Missing business man John Q Hammons returned to his fellowship of business cohorts yesterday in a surprise press conference held amidst the trees and rolling hills of Jordan Valley Park. There he told amazed audience about his escape from the top of Hammons tower via an eagle lord; freeing CEO’s from wormed tongued yes-men; and his battle with the Bal-countants, a deadly mix between a fire demon and accountants, and finally his triumphant return to Springfield via city bus.
“Darkness took me [after my death by Bal-ccountant]. And I strayed out of thought and time. But it was not the end. I felt light in me again. I’ve been sent back until my task is done,” stated Hammons . “And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.”
Hammons then mounted the fabled horse Shadowfaux and rode to the Heers Building. Once there he shot a powerful beam from his white staff transforming the abandoned building into a fully functioning hotel with a hosts of bell-hop elves and cleaning fairies to cater to every need.
He then rode to MSU’s Hammon’s hall where he enjoyed pints of mead where he told halflings (college students) about his younger days. Then Hammons then rode atop giant eagle to his mansion with an army of walking trees and lawyers , there he vanquished his enemies and took his rightful place as most powerful business man of all of middle-America.
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