Mother Nature Gives Cardinals Out

St. Louis Cardinals celebrate not having to play SGF

Springfield, MO—The St. Louis Cardinals canceled their exhibition game against Double-A Springfield set for Tuesday night at Hammons Field, citing an ominous possible defeat at the hands of the underling team. Tuesday’s match was set for 7:07 p.m. and officials expected to draw a sold-out crowd of more than 9,000 before the “big” Cards weaseled out due to a little rainy weather.

“The way the STL Cards scrambled out of our game you would have thought they were going to play against the Cubs. Y’know they never like playing that team,” said one fan Phil Fukudome, “I wish I could get out of my job when the skies open up”. The weather forecast called for an 80 percent chance of rain and apparently an early morning snow in Springfield that created “problems”, according to the pampered big leaguers. “I wouldn’t want to expose my players to anything less than perfect conditions after being in Jupiter, FL all Spring,” said team skipper, Tony LaRussa.

In return, the big-league club has agreed to play two exhibition games at Hammons Field next season, provided the city can guarantee 70-degree weather.

In the news release, the Cardinals noted that:

* Fans who purchased tickets will receive via mail a voucher entitling them to a St. Louis Cardinals Can’t Take the Weather T-shirt.

* Tickets purchased from the Springfield Cardinals will be transferred into a weather lottery whereby ticket holders will have the option to attend games in St. Louis based on the weather conditions (if the day is dreary, simply transfer your ticket to a sunny day).

* Fans who demand a game between the two squads can play it on Major/Minor League Baseball 2k11 Xbox game.

Local businesses planning to rake in much needed profits were given free tickets to watch the baseball draft next year. “Our big league players are much too valuable to be exposed to inclement weather, no matter how much the local economy depended upon us showing up to swing bats at balls,” said one executive.

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