Birth Celebrated By Smoking Bubble Gum Stogies
FairCityNews.com | Dec 10, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO—Following the birth of Nathan and Sandy Brody’s first son at St. John’s Hospital, a tobacco-free campus, celebrators were forced to smoke bubble gum cigars in the couple’s assigned room.
“I was so excited to greet my new nephew that I purchased candy, er bubble gum cigars for the event. Given that you can’t have real cigars on the hospital grounds, the blue-colored ones are the only other real option,” said Chivas Brody, the proud new uncle.
According to witnesses, the entire male population of the family held the bubble gum cigars in their mouths and lit them up at the same time, causing quite the upsetting experience.
“The bubble gum didn’t ignite like a real cigar, it just kinda smoldered and wasn’t very easy to draw. Actually it tasted horrible. Like burnt bubble gum. I wouldn’t want to celebrate anything with that taste in my mouth, especially the birth of my son,” said Jacques Brody, grandfather of the newborn child.
To make matters worse, St. John’s staff instructed the family that no burning of any materials was allowed at the institution. “I was kicked out for trying to celebrate a new birth at a hospital. They said I released unknown toxins in the air by firing up a blue blunt. How are kids supposed to learn about real life if they can’t be exposed to things that will hurt them?” pondered Chivas Brody.
Filed Under: Food