Riverside Bridge To Be Stored At Heer’s Building Temporarily
FairCityNews.com | Dec 09, 2010 | Comments 0
Ozark, MO – In light of the recent troubles that have befallen the beloved and beleaguered Riverside Bridge of Christian County, local politicians have devised a seemingly foolproof solution: they intend to store the bridge in the Heer’s Building in downtown Springfield until all of the legal issues can be hammered out.
“Really, if you think about it, there’s not a better solution out there” according to County Commissioner Steve Billips. “The building is the perfect storage center, with only a couple of transient pigeons and transient transients living there at any one time. Until the fate of the noble bridge is determined by the good people of Christian County, we’ll be renting out a few floors to keep it in.”
Developer Kevin “Mac-a-Doodle” McCowan could not be reached for comment, as it was rumored he was down at HUD headquarters, either applying for yet another loan extension or engaged in a really, really wicked game of Jenga that he’d painted over with Heer’s logos and fake plywood for the windows.
“Really, it’s a win-win for everyone involved, but mostly for the bridge itself. It would be less than honorable to allow it to pass the time exposed to the elements and the indignities of the seasons” said Billips in a prepared statement, accompanied by a photograph of the Commissioner embracing the bridge in a moment of candid adoration.
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