City Residents To Get Porta-Potties
FairCityNews.com | Oct 29, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield MO—In an effort to help the city of Springfield make money when people use the toilet, Porta-Potties will soon be in everyone’s front yards. “The city loses money every time someone flushes the toilet,” commented City Manager Greg Burris. “We did not want to dump on another tax increase to people even though we are still floating that option.”
Burris further added, “We explored a few other options to keep up with costs like installing pay-as-you-go stalls in peoples houses. The stalls would charge $2.00 (in exact change only) any time they were in use. But until we get some federal stimulus money for funding that idea is too impractical even for us. The Porta-Pottie program would go like this. Nice looking versions of a typical Ozarks outhouse would be place in the front yards of homes in Springfield. People that live in apartments or college dorms would have a row of them in the parking lot. Once a month a truck would come by to gather the waste and then take it to the sewer treatment plant. The end result would be one big flush instead of a thousand little ones a true cost saving device for the end user and a real moneymaker for the city. By this way of going, people won’t be as pissed when they pay.”
While the flushing issue appears to be down the drain the next item on the agenda will be the CO2 problem caused by the new Southwest 2 power plant. “There is an old saying that it costs money to breathe,” said Burris. “People in Springfield will soon have to make the choice of whether to turn the lights on or exhale. But at least they can get some quiet time in the Ozarks throne room for cheap.”
Filed Under: Health