Old Law/New Day Help Chicken Owners

Pluckin' days proves headless chickens are fun

Springfield MO—People that finally got the approval to have chickens in the city limits got an additional bonus with the discovery of an old Springfield law that gives chicken owners the right to hang chicken thieves without a trail or due process of law.  The law written in 1830′s is still on the books and gives chicken and horse owners the right to gather friends and neighbors to hang on the square anyone caught with any stolen farm animal.

Before the disclosure of the old law, the only requirements chicken owners had were no roosters, and broods of no more than six hens in structures approved by the chicken housing authority.  There is a pending leash law up for debate that would forbid chickens to run loose and they must be muzzled while leashed when going for walks.  But the hanging of thieves on sight gives chicken owners sustainability over outsiders and the sense of self-enforcing chicken violations within the group.

“If chickens had lips they would say that this is a good day,” commented Cleatus Yoder, future chicken owner.  “It’s bad that if you got caught breaking into my house and stealing my TV and meth supply I would have to wait a long time before the case goes to trail.  By hanging people as soon as they are caught stealing chickens that sends a message of what you can’t do on my property without any government say-so.”

Another item for chicken owners is the Springfield Park Board will have on the 15th of every month, GUT AND PLUCK DAY.  This event will be held at the Wilson Rutledge demonstration farm in Springfield.  Chicken owners that have hens that are too old to lay eggs can bring them to the farm and they will be processed for dinner that evening.  “We find that this is real popular for grade school children,” said Henrietta Klosterstein, Park Board Director.

“To avoid the shock and trauma of seeing the birds butchered, we prepare them by saying think of the ‘Itchy and Scratchy Show’, in the Simpson’s cartoon series.  Once they see a chicken running around with its head cut off, they laugh and laugh.  When we throw the headless bird into a pot of boiling water they still can’t stop laughing.  When we finally pluck and gut the chicken, they are still laughing so hard they can’t wait to take it home and put it in the oven for dinner.”

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