Wheelchair-Chasing-Pedestrian Crossing Unveiled
FairCityNews.com | Sep 10, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO—A new street crossing has been added to the thoroughfares of town, a place where wheelchair bound people can run down pedestrians in order to cross the road.
Several disabled people claim the new sign as a huge success. “I love it. I get to mow people down in my ride if they are too slow. Usually, I have to be patient for bipeds to make it across the street. Now I can just bump their slow asses out of the way,” said Terry Firestrom, a local wheelchair rugby player.
Greg Hunter said, “Most of the time we want to be treated like everybody else. But this perk is one I will enjoy. People usually try to take pity on me because of my situation – makes me sick. Now I can feel free to inflict some pain on pedestrians!”
City officials felt the new crossing would provide a safe area for all pedestrians no matter their mode of transportation, be it by foot or wheel. More urban areas are adding special crossings for wheelchairing, but this location is the only one where pedestrians are allowed to be tossed about like ragdolls. A press release from the City stated, “this isn’t exactly the type of crossing we had in mind when we had the sign made. However, people seem to be enjoying it, so it shall remain in place on Cherry Street near the MSU parking garage.”
Filed Under: Traffic