Local Man Sloths on Labor Day
FairCityNews.com | Sep 07, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO—In an ironic twist, local man Jerry Baker spent most of Labor Day wasting away on his futon. Baker had planned to clean his house, fix his backyard fence and finally get that new coat of paint on his ’84 Chevy pickup, however, he chose to flip aimlessly through his satellite television channels instead.
Said Baker, “Man, I was tired and besides, it’s not a day for labor it is a day to appreciate all the labor I’ve already accomplished this year.” When his girlfriend confronted Baker by his lack of motivation he simply said he’d get to those chores next weekend.
“They call it Labor Day for a reason,” said Tiffany Hujio, Baker’s girlfriend. “He’s got it in his head that it is Anti-Labor day. And who does that benefit?” Baker responded with “the Conservative-Liberal Democrat Coalition Government in the UK.” Hujio was unimpressed with Baker’s knowledge of the United Kingdom’s political party reference.
Hujio successfully completed her Labor Day plans by re-coloring her nails, organizing her computer bookmarks, digging a ditch for a neglected sewage line in her neighborhood and building two homes for families in need. Baker added, “I saw the entire season marathon of ‘Little People, Big World’ on TLC, that’s gotta be worth something.”
Hujio has reportedly compiled an entire list of tasks for Baker to complete before she will snuggle with him again.
Filed Under: Health