SGF Rents Giant Shop Vac To Remove Water

A ginormous shop vac sucks rainwater from Springfield

Springfield, MO—After presenting two forms of identification and laying down a $50 deposit, The City of Springfield has rented a giant shop vac to remove rainwater from roads, bridges and basements. The 6000-gal. 2,300HP shop vac was deemed necessary following heavy rainfall on Wednesday, when 6 to 10.5 inches of rain covered the city causing multiple headaches across the region.

According to reports, the City was notified of the massive flooding by a wife who had just returned from running errands. “There is water everywhere, you need to come and clean this up now!” said the wife.

Mayor Jim O’Neal approved the use of emergency funds to pay for the gigantic shop vacuum, which will be operated by Public Works. Rumors swirled that the department could not find—and was feverishly looking for—an enormous ShamWow towel that was purchased via an infomercial last spring just for a situation such as this.

O’Neal confirmed that the enormous ShamWow was last seen in City Hall when the fire department was demonstrating that it could hold 12 times its weight in liquid. “It’s a towel that acts like a sponge, made by Germans – you know the Germans always make good stuff!” said O’Neal, “we just have to find where we put it.”

The City has until Friday at noon to return the rented shop vac before incurring late charges. Citizens have been called upon to gather at the Southwest power plant and assemble together as many electrical cords as possible to operate the ginormous sucking machine. More rain is expected in the coming days.

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