Local Businesses Fail At Basic Spelling Skills
FairCityNews.com | Aug 06, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO—Due to a report by the National Spelling Agency, NSA, Springfield area businesses do not have a basic mastery of spelling skills. Some examples of incorrect spelling include “Krispy Kreme’s Dounuts”, “Kum and Go”, “Medicine Shoppe”, and “Cheezies’ Pizza”. The NSA demands that the businesses correct the spelling, pay a fine, or be destroyed.
“There is no excuse for this,” stated Agent Jones. “How can these people run a whole business when they can’t spell ‘cream’. These misspelled words aren’t even complicated. I could see botching a hard word like ‘secretary’. I just don’t see how they can spell medicine, but not know the modern spelling of shop.”
“I don’t know what we were thinking,” said the CEO of Kum and Go. You get too busy to proof read sometimes. Of course we are going to change all signs. Man, now we look like first graders.”
The CEO of Krispy Kreme doughnuts stated, “Yeah, I knew it was spelled wrong, but my niece (who I hired as a personal favor to my brother) made this cute mock up of a sign and I didn’t have the courage to say anything. She would have felt so dumb if I brought it up.”
Melvin St. Clair, MSU’s resident of spellology and grammarology told FCN, “It is no surprise that there are so many poor spelling due to texting and rap artist names. Who else is to blame? I mean whom…WHOM.” Mr. St. Clair was not able to finish the interview because he exploded into nothing after using the incorrect usage of “whom”.
Cheezies’ Pizza manger Justin Rogers told FCN, “Whatz the big deal? Thiz happenz all the time. Zo what if people had some pissas into their zighnz? It juzt makez good buzinezz zenze.”
Filed Under: Business