Seven Dwarfs Mansion Nears Completion

Dwarf's new home dwarfs other homes

Springfield, MO—The much-anticipated completion of an awe-inspiring add-on to an existing Springfield home purchased by the Seven Dwarfs is immanent.  Dwarfs’ spokesman Wink Snapdragon said the enormous, Dark Forest-style castle will be home to the diminutive gentlemen made famous in the 1937 Walt Disney animated classic, Snow White.

Gargantuan and resplendent, across from Phelps Grove Park, the Dwarfs’ new digs is more than spacious enough to house the world-famous celebrity men’s club and all their precious little belongings, as well as any visiting royalty and sorcerers who might happen by while they are at working the dayshift at Conco Quarry.

“We heard that Springfield was a great place to settle down, and we’re all kind of getting up there…who ya starin’ at?”, snuffed Grumpy.  “And don’t go gettin’ no idears ’bout snappin’ no pictures. We’re still under contract!” When asked why they had taken jobs at the quarry, Bashful commented, “Well…we sort of…you…you know…got mining in our…our blood…gosh.”

The Dwarfs’ communal fortune is estimated to be in excess of a billion dollars, though most of that is in the form of egg-sized precious gems mined in their youth. Several of the dwarfs could be seen encrusting the stone exterior of the mansion with surplus gems they produced from their baggy pockets, bantering blissfully in pidgin Spanish with the Hispanic laborers putting the finishing touches on the masonry edifice.

Snapdragon says that his clients intend to locate their favorite charity, Basketball for Three-Footers and Under, right here in Springfield. “These are some happy-go-lucky fellows, glad to have a job, a modest roof over their heads, and a way to give back to the community.”

Our interview ended abruptly with a startling cry of “Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho!” as Springfield’s latest resident celebrities formed a line and began a march towards the north, picks and shovels over their burly shoulders.

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