Smoking Ban Debated Thru Hole In Neck

Citizens amped up the volume on their artificial larynx at the city council meeting

Springfield, MO—Roger Thornsburry spoke eloquently through the hole in his neck last night at the Springfield City Council’s public’s opinion regarding the proposed Smoke-Free Air Ordinance. Thornsburry voiced his opinion thru his artificial larynx and pleaded with the nine council members to not “take away my freedoms”.

Thornsburry was joined by several hundred other smoking citizens who were adamant that their electrolarynx devices be heard on the matter. “It’s not fair that big brother can come in here and tell me what I can and can’t do,” said Mindy Julient in a canned robotic voice. “I’ve spent my entire life smoking to achieve this destruction in my body and if I want to continue to let carcinogens eat away at my flesh in a public forum, then I should have that right. You don’t see the calorie proposal people coming in and smacking a big mac out of Fat Freddie’s hands do ya?”

“Fat” Freddie Hillman, also in attendance, apparently clutched his greasy sandwich and cringed at the thought of losing his meal to another “government regulation.”

Business owners appeared to fight the proposed legislation, as it would be bad for business. However, by the end of the night most owners agreed that smokers would all be dead in 10-15 years anyway and it was time to start finding another target market to cater to. “I have been selling booze and bar food for over 30 years to my smoking patrons. I’ve stockpiled on candy cigarettes in case this deal is passed. Oh and I have a enough K2 to kill a small antelope,” said Herbie Norgan, Grand Poobah of the Turtle Club #314.

Jeremy Coward, a non-smoker attending the meeting, said the entire room stank of smoky clothing and he could barely understand what all the scratchy-voiced people were saying.

Thornsburry was allowed to speak for his allotted 5 minutes but he stretched in into a 30-minute speech as he had to go outside and smoke every 30 seconds. He stated in a creepy robotic voice, “public health is not the issue here. It is the governments ability to tax another product and fine citizens to raise funds to feed the fire and police pension fund they jacked up.”

Will viagra professional australia be given a mild sedative to help you relax down. In this modern era, we need not sildenafil tablets in india actually worry about anything because there is a reduction in the circulating levels of testosterone as we used to. You can find a lot of different options 5mg cialis that you can choose from. Kamagra in Various Yummy order cialis Flavors Yes, it is the only medicine which available in many forms Kamagra Jelly Kamagra Soft Tablets Kamagra Effervescent Above mentioned these new versions of generic sildenafil are unique and possesses specific qualities.