Hooligans at Gastropub Consume Packaged Foods
FairCityNews.com | Jun 28, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO—After watching Germany beat England, hooligans demonstrated their displeasure at Farmers Gastropub by consuming processed foods flown in from around the country. The pub opened early for World Cup fans and the owners had no idea that hooligans would disrupt the restaurant after such a poor showing among the English soccer team.
Said one owner, “the fans were ruthless in their self-destructive behaviour! They started eating these awful foods, I mean who brings a Twinkie into my place? We are farm to table, not canned cheese to face.”
Witnesses claim the scene got ugly when an entire case of spam showed up after Germany took the lead 3-1. The “spammers” began to pass out samples telling German fans that it was locally sourced ham. “I ate the free samples,” said Horace Frughard a fan of Germany, “then these food hooligans held up the Spam packaging and revealed that we’d been tricked. I immediately threw up. I’m so ashamed of myself for eating un-fresh, non-locally sourced foods. Damn English.”
“’We’re going to put preservatives in your food!’ I heard one hooligan scream. That is just cruel and shows a real lack of concern for everyone’s health,” said one angry customer.
Filed Under: Sports