Raw Emotion Contained By Cubicle
FairCityNews.com | Jun 25, 2010 | Comments 0
Man successfully covers up his enthusiasm for the World Cup by fake stretching
Springfield, MO—Randy Hulstalk* successfully contained his raw emotion for the US National soccer team within his cubicle Wednesday. During the USA v. Algeria FIFA World Cup game, Hulstalk secretly streamed the match on his computer monitor, a major violation of company office policies. He successfully stifled his screams, shouting and even pumped his arms in silent jubilation at the end of the contest.
However, strange noises were detected coming from Hulstalk’s cubicle all morning. Tammy Kilpo, who sits in the cubicle next to him said, “I could hear his chair squeaking more than usual. It sounded like he was rocking back and forth with a lot of velocity. Must have been an intense tutorial he was watching on his computer.”
Louis Tomms saw Hulstalk in the break room right before lunch and reported that “he (Hulstalk) looked exhausted, I mean totally beat. I asked him if he needed any help meeting his sales goals. He just stared me in the eyes and said ‘I saw a historic goal this morning’. Weird interaction, but I’m glad he’s staying productive.”
Hulstalk said he almost blew his cover when he fell out of his chair after watching Clint Dempsey miss an open goal rebound in the second half of the game. “I literally fell out of my chair backwards and hit the roller mat for my chair. I didn’t know what to do so I said, ‘Aww the Henderson files!’ Nobody came over. They assumed I had knocked my huge Henderson binder off my desk.”
Hulstalk confessed that his World Cup fondness wouldn’t be accepted by his coworkers as they are fans of other sports. Hulstalk worries that if he “comes out” as a soccer fan, he would be unfairly judged and may even lose his job.
* Randy Hulstalk is a fictional name used to protect Jim Niles and his desire to remain anonymous.
Filed Under: Sports
