Weatherman Steals Sportscaster’s Thunder

People need to know about sports claims sportscaster

Springfield, MO—Amid threats of severe weather in the Ozarks, one local sportscaster once again lost airtime to boring weather updates. A stupid severe thunderstorm watch drained a local sportscaster of precious minutes to cover life changing events such as an almost perfect baseball game, the retirement of an aging baseball player and an update on the unwatchable NHL Championship battle.

“Can’t these guys be content with their program interruptions and on-screen crawl messages? C’mon, who’s gonna notice if we get 2.5 more minutes to cover some sports entertainment? I mean, there’s a threat of severe weather, so sit back, relax and watch some entertaining physical sporting accomplishments while I give you the play-by-play with my soothing voice,” said Lou Kimberg, a disgruntled sportscaster under his breath while glaring at the weather chart tracking the predicted storm.

The news program director said that weather updates and viewer safety is the utmost concern for local broadcasts. “Aw, hogwash! People need to know about the retirement of Ken Griffey Jr. so they can go out and buy an authentic jersey to commemorate the event and jumpstart our local economy,” responded Kimberg in a post-production meeting.

Sources say that that weatherman Gary Tully will gladly give up 1 minute of airtime to Kimberg if “he can beat me in a game of horse. Kimberg is a poser, he couldn’t shoot a free throw to save his life!” The severe weather storm alert was eventually called off and no injuries or damage was reported. “See?!” said a befuddled Kimberg.

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