Vast Potpourri of Names Offered for Springfield Gateway
FairCityNews.com | Mar 26, 2010 | Comments 0
Springfield, MO—The Jordan Valley Advisory Committee has offered up six distinctly different choices for citizens to consider in the new quarry redevelopment project. They include: Jordan Valley East Gateway Plaza, Jordan Valley Gateway Plaza, Gateway Plaza at Jordan Valley, The Commons at Jordan Valley, East Greens at Jordan Valley and The Quarry at Jordan Valley. The survey is posted here.
“After reading the extensive and vast selections, I’ve determined that they are all pretty much the same. I’m pretty sure they just placed the words ‘Jordan’, ‘Valley’ and ‘Gateway’ together in various unoriginal patterns. They left out, and I wrote in, ‘Valley Gateway at Jordan’,” said Springfield native Newt Turner.
A JVAC member confirmed, “We were all pretty tired when it came down to the naming process so we just went with the straightforward descriptive approach: it is a gateway to the Jordan valley. We did consider a fanciful name but Hammons Gateway was, well he already has his name on everything else. We did name some new structures during the meeting: Jordan Valley Shed, where the gardening tools are kept, the Jordan Valley Portable Potty, and an overall name change to avoid any confusion, Jordan Valley in the Jordan Valley.”
Original names are still accepted for consideration. Lois Freeman suggested, “they should name it Methane Gas Gateway due to the troublesome gas production at the southwest corner of the site. My kids simply refer to it as ‘Jordan’s Fart’”.
Morbid suggestions ranged from “The Cemetery”, “Dead Man’s Plaza” and “Afterlife Gateway” due to the extraordinary dead body storage capacity of the old quarry. Most Springfieldians opted for more lighthearted names such as, “Silver Springs South”, “The Grassy Hole” and the “JV Quad”.
Frustrated by the lack of originality in the names, Harold Minnow said, “search all the towns and all the cities and you’ll find parks named by committees.”
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