KY3 Weather Watchers Training Seminar Spawns Brawl

Local storm watcher preferes "storm stud" title

Springfield, MO—What began as a friendly gathering of KY3 Storm Team Weather Watchers apparently turned rancorous and physical during a recent monthly training exercise. According to on-lookers, Chief KY3 Storm Teamer Ron Hearst was concluding a particularly complicated presentation on the proper way to launch a weather balloon when “all hell broke loose” between rookie Weather Watcher Earl Bigger of rural Theodosia, Mo., and long-time Weather Watcher, Max Longpipe of Buffalo, Mo.

FCN has learned the Bigger-Longpipe feud has been simmering ever since Bigger floated the idea of changing the name of the all volunteer KY3 Weather Watchers group to the KY3 Storm Studs.  A clearly agitated Longpipe reportedly shoved Bigger saying, “…it’s over, drop it, you sure as hell ain’t no storm stud and never will be.”

Sources say Bigger’s fascination with the Storm Stud concept stems from his curious idolization of The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore. In a show of solidarity Bigger recently shaved his head to mimic Cantore’s high-gloss dome and has repeatedly bullied the entire KY3 Storm Team on-air staff and Weather Watcher colleagues to do the same, or else. A KY3 Weather Watcher wishing to remain anonymous told FCN, “It is embarrassing really; I mean he is likeable enough but at our monthly training exercises he is always trying to chest-bump Mr. Hearst and chanting Storm Stud, Storm Stud, Storm Stud!” The source concluded, “You know spring storm season is fast approaching, the last thing we need on the loose is a rookie Weather Watcher turned Storm Stud wannabe.”

FCN has also learned Bigger, a semi-reserve deputy in Howell, Douglas, and Pulaksi Counties, is contemplating filing formal assault charges against Longpipe, or he may just “take matters” into his own hands.

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