Hopes Dashed As Local Fraternity Learns Hurling Not An Olympic Event

Months of hurling preparation wasted

Springfield, MO—A Missouri State University fraternity learned today their hurling team will not be allowed to participate in the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games. Rho Rho Rho chapter chairman Biff Martindink told FCN “we have been training for a long damn time and to have a bunch of maple leaf toteing thugs pull the rug on me and my bro’s really sucks.”

Vancouver organizing committee member Pierre LaDoosh’ called Martindink earlier this week to explain hurling “is not now and never will be an entry in the games you silly boys.”  Martindink reportedly told officials he and his brothers were ready to show some serious, “spew and chunk on the international stage.” He said, “We must have downed 1,500 gallons of Molson Canadian this month getting ready for the games and the hurling was some of the best I have ever seen.” He continued, “We can field the best 3-man beer bong team anywhere but our real strength is individual hurling.”

A dejected Martindink said, “We’ll show ‘em…its back to Keystone for us, O-Canada my arse.”  A spokesperson for the fraternity promised to lodge a complaint with the International Hurling Federation saying he was totally confused by the guy on the phone with the funny accent who kept screaming, “… its curling you moron, curling, merde! “  In the off-season, Rho Rho Rho members train at the annual Ernte-Fest in Freistatt Missouri.

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