Corbett Lawfirm Responsible for Pencil Property Damage

Local attorney snaps a pencil at mere mention of other local lawfirm

Local attorney snaps a pencil at mere mention of other local lawfirm

Springfield, MO— The phrase “Ah sir, they’ve hired Corbett Lawfirm” has been responsible for pencil breaks across the Ozarks. Initially thought to indicate that the case will be a snap to win against Corbett Lawfirm, sources close to the firm maintain that anger, fear, frustration and uncertainty are the human emotions tapped by the magical phrase to break a defenseless writing instrument.

A representative from the Ozark Pencil Company in St. Louis, MO claims that this intentional assault on personal property has “increased sales in Southwest Missouri” but claims that Ozark Pencil Company does not endorse such violent behavior toward inanimate products.

Physician Noel Yuglah said, “tremors in local attorney’s hands twitch so strongly at the mention of Corbett Lawfirm that no mortal can resist snapping a pencil with the fingers.” This phenomenon has been well document over the years. Some attorneys have heard the phrase and snapped other objects such as steak knives, cellular phones and their own fingers.

Local attorney Brad Traddins reported that he was driving down the road when an associate mentioned that they were going up against Corbett Lawfirm and Traddins snapped his steering wheel in half, causing the car to veer into an oncoming ambulance.

Usually, attorneys stricken by the tremors are in the process of writing in circles on blank pieces of paper, are grouped around a table and/or interfacing with an early 1990’s personal computer with simple email notification bells. Corbett Lawfirm has been sued multiple times for personal property damage and serious damage in a pencil accident, however when the cases are heard in court the prosecution is never able to maintain composure long enough to write a decipherable argument.

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  1. James E. Corbett says:

    You sources are amazing and accurate. Actually I have been sued a number of times however all such settlements were highly confidential. I will need to know your sources.

  2. admin says:

    Great…all FCN attorneys need new pencils over here!

  3. Ron Martin says:

    When Corbett Law Firm hires Corbett Law Firm we are nearing the apocalypse. May I recommend the P-44, 44″ pencil, made by pencilcraft.com. (http://www.pencilcraft.com/Product%20Images.htm)