Misfit Fraternity Surprisingly Not On Valued Land
FairCityNews.com | Jul 13, 2009 | Comments 0
Springfield MO-Lamba Alpha Mu, a fraternity of losers and misfits brought together by the shunning of their peers, found out yesterday that the land under their house, affectingly called “The Heap” was totally useless yesterday. This was a huge surprise to Brett Masterson the president of the most popular and powerful fraternity on campus: Alpha Alpha Alpha.
“Stereotypically when a bunch of misfits gather together to form a fraternity their house is either a perfect location for more Greek housing, an awesome campus recreational center, or a place for a staunch dean to place a Hall in his honor. But, with the small sink hole on the lot, it is totally useless,” tells Masterson.
“The Heap” a three story, dilapidated, house has been a refuge for social outcast for numerous years. The 11 members range from Ben “Master Blaster” Stevens, a free-thinking, sun-glasses wearing, self appointed leader of the group to Gregory “The Wiz” Geekton, a 14-year-old computer genius. Other members include Marvin Fats, Lee Wang, Lucas Stoner, The Stink, and Theodore “Teddy Bear” Roberts.
“I was really looking forward to all sorts of zany schemes like winning the school election, hosting a crazy fund raiser involving a dunk tank and the Phi Psy Phi Sorority, or using a remote control football to win the “Pan-Hellenic Olympics”. But, now I guess we can just keep living in our crap shack,” said Ben Stevens.
“I can’t believe we won’t get to do an outrageous double take ending with us dropping our champagne glasses; our mouths wide open in shock,” said Tad McSnobbington, an Alpha Alpha Alpha member, “Now it will be the same old, same old: eating caviar while listening to classical music in our portrait-filled study.”
Members of Lamba Alpha Mu are glad they can now spend their time playing video games and despairing over rapidly dwindling job prospects rather than planning over elaborate ways keep their house.
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