Archive for June, 2009
Jason Takes Own Life Of Jason
Jason Wert, author of the blog site “Life of Jason,” announced Sunday that he will take the life out of his weblog and will no longer continue recording his thoughts, learnings and information in an online digital format. “I never would have thought Jason would be associated with blogicide. At least his blog wasn’t found […]
Dingy Bigger Than Entire Boat
Classic boats were on display at this weekend at Table Rock Lake as important pieces of history. In fact, many boat lovers hit the lake this weekend to mock the 2009 Classics Cruisin’ weekend attendees. Before the festivities took place a christening occurred of The Flying Wasp. The captain of the boat said, “I’ve got […]
Ozarks Tanning Salon Adds Biopsy Service
Springfield—When customers started canceling their appointments to “get that thing looked at,” David Hutch saw an opportunity. “My clientele is very busy with the lake, performances, etc., and they need a one-stop solution for all their tanning and cancer screening needs,” states Hutch. The new service, now available at his four Tan Aura locations, allows […]
Domino’s Pizza Delivered By QuikDine
Springfield—George Thimbert totally had pizza delivered by QuikDine delivery service on Wednesday. When approached for comment Thimbert said, “well, I, uh, was jonsing for a pizza so I called the delivery service and asked them to deliver it to me. Because I was, like, hungry.” A QuikDine representative said QuikDine, a Springfield, Missouri enterprise and […]
Borat Busts Branson Slave Trade
According to the U.S. attorney for the Western District of Missouri, a federal indictment in Kansas City claims defendants used false information to obtain fake work visas for foreign workers, who were then threatened with deportation while living in substandard apartments and working for inadequate pay. “High five!” said international reporter Borat Sagdiyev, after he […]
Andy’s Last Frozen Custard Stand
Springfield, MO—Andy’s Frozen Custard has scrapped plans to build in the sacred lands of Montana’s Black Hills at Little Bighorn. After long planning sessions and months of negotiations the U.S. Department of the Interior pulled the plug on the project late last night. “The Northern Plains Indians way of life really leaned toward shaved ice […]
Man Arrested Collecting Fuel for Time Traveling Auto
JOPLIN, Mo.—A 48-year-old man from Webb City was arrested on charges of stealing restaurant grease. Joplin police said they saw Emmett Lathrop Brown Ph.D on Wednesday morning checking grease tanks at several restaurants and pumping grease out of at least one into a tank on his converted DeLorean. Police Cpl. Chuck Niess said Brown was […]
