MoDOT’s Highway Hijinks Confuse, Entertain

SPRINGFIELD, MO—The Missouri Department of Transportation says this is the best practical joke they have ever pulled and they are enjoying every moment of it.

On Monday they unveiled the first interchange of its kind in the United States, and it’s now open in north Springfield. It’s a diverging diamond interchange at I-44 and Kansas Expressway and is certain to confuse the nation’s worst drivers right here in Springfield, MO.

Reportedly, several transportation departments across the country have participated in the “Double Black Diamond” challenge, a secret game where departments vied to be the first to implement this practical joke on its citizens.

“No other city in our nation felt that this type of interchange was an improvement, so when we got the approval we were ecstatic. We won. I mean consider this; the worst drivers in the US of A are now pitted against this confusing interchange to be navigated at high speeds in massive vehicles. This is hysterical,” said MoDOT worker Jimmy Urenka who won a $45 dollar side bet with a highway worker in Delaware.

Local driver Richter Hayseed said, “I was coming into Springfield from my hometown – where we only have one stop sign – and I came upon this dad-berned highway mess, and I nearly got my nickels and dimes pressed in.”

It opened up at 10:00 Sunday night and, as of Monday afternoon, no serious problems have been reported. A number of MoDOT employees took turns standing near the site pretending to move cones and other “official” equipment to witness the ensuing madness.

“Yeah, not only did we get to pull the greatest practical joke since the ‘clover leaf’ our taxpayers paid us to build it/stand around, and we got drivers to legally operate their vehicles on the left side of the road. They paid us to make them drive on the wrong side! Hello?! This is awesome! Boo-yeah!,” said Victor Hytum, MoDOT spokesman as he chest-bumped an orange vested comrade on his right.

MoDOT still has some concrete barricades to finish up, and they’ll be putting up a glare screen on top of the concrete walls to help with bright headlights that appear to be in the same lane, coming right at your car. Good one fellas.

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