Large, Inflatable Gorillas Hit Hard By Ozark Car Dealers Closing

Ozark, MO—The recession has found itself yet another victim. Due to car dealerships closing all over the Ozarks, large inflatable gorillas have found themselves out of work with no means of supporting their large inflatable families.

“Mojo sad,” said Mojo, a large inflatable gorilla, after seeing his large inflatable pink slip. Mojo has a similar story to those across the Ozark. Gorillas of all shapes and colors have been cast aside as the bleak economy continues to devastate the car industry. Their big goofy grins and wide-eyed stares barely cover the pain they feel inside. To make ends met the gorillas try jobs out of their usual skill set.

“Tam-Tam no understand,” says Tam-Tam as he stares at a computer screen while temping at Harlow & Associates. “What shiny black box do?”

Other than temping the large inflatable gorillas have also tried working at fast food restaurants, chain retails stores, and joining the military. All with poor results.

“The idea of an iron-clad gorilla charging the battle field with shoulder mounted rocket launchers is exciting and terrifying. But having a large purple balloon that could be ruptured by bullets or even a tack is not an effective strategy,” said Gen. P. Thornbird. “So, no. We aren’t hiring a lot of large inflatable gorillas right now.”

No jobs for large inflatable gorillas means a decline in large inflatable cash so other industries are also failing. Sales of large inflatable bananas, large inflatable coconuts, and large inflatable tree huts are at an all time low.

Governor Jay Nixon is trying to give some relief with free helium kitchens.

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