Artsfest Inspires Precipitation


Springfield—Walnut Street swelled with crowds ready to browse the art filled curbs intent to celebrate spring this past weekend. Tents filled with crafts, paintings and foods align annually at this time of the year to form Artsfest. Unbeknownst to the casual observer, this ritual triggers a predictable climactic change known as “rain”.

World-renowned climatologist Dr. James Hansen attributes this localized cloudburst to an “entire street filled with damn hippies”. Local street-stroller Glen Hooper believes the spring soaker is caused by “nature man…Ma nature is just giving the earth essential love.”

Springfield resident James Valentine says, “those tap girls on the dance stage are actually performing a ceremonial dance to invoke rain to ensure the protection of the coming harvest.” Dance instructors denied the dance Thunder Soaker had any effect on the weather then hurriedly fled to check their freshly planted fields.

The Springfield Regional Arts Council insists that the festival is not a concealed effort to bathe the areas “damn hippies” and is instead a celebration of springtime, food, fun, and the performing and visual arts. Maury Trimmons thinks the rain is simply God’s way to feature the divine artistic statement: the rainbow.

No one can deny that the moment tents are positioned in center city the universe recognizes the pattern of vinyl and polyester combined with nomadic artisans and responds with a drizzling spatter of downpours.

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