All Entries Tagged With: "Police"
SPRINGFIELD CELEBRATES 5,000TH STOPLIGHT
The City of Springfield installed its’ 5,000th stoplight, which became operational yesterday morning. The new stoplight is located at the intersection of South Chambery Avenue and Michelle Place in southeast Springfield, in a quiet subdivision just north of East Battlefield Road. Springfield city leaders opted to celebrate the milestone by passing out gold-plated stoplights mounted […]
Couple Asked to Light Heads on Fire After Transporting Teens in Trunk
Lebanon, MO—Two people from Lebanon have been asked to light their heads on fire after police say they tried to drive home with three kids stuffed in a car trunk. Investigators say Cindy Feltner, 21, and Dustin McDonald, 18, were dumb enough to make a terrible mistake once, so they are likely to do it […]
Escaped Inmates Caught In Branson Attractions
Branson, MO—Four inmates who escaped from Oklahoma on Thursday were caught Friday in Branson. Because, if you ever escape from prison you should go directly to Branson, MO where dreams come true. The men were caught in pairs at different times of the day in various tourist attractions. Two were stopped on West Missouri 76 […]
Two Women Use Jedi Mind Trick To Rob Joplin Businesses
Joplin, MO—Police are looking for two women who stole a train suspension system from the F A G Bearings plant on Tuesday night. Police said one of the women posed as a F A G employee and the second played the role of customer. The duo also reportedly made off with a 52-inch, flat-screen Samsung […]
Firefighters, Police To Sell CU To Highest Bidder
Springfield—Local fire and police officials have decided to sell City Utilities to fund the Police-Fire Pension Fund. “Well, it just sitting there. Nobody is using it” said Fire Chief Doug Dorman. “Everyone just started looking around the city for things to sell and we found a few old desks, an old fire truck we used […]
Kamikaze vehicles destroying remains of economy
One store at a time, vehicles avenge poor auto sales. Springfield—For the past three months, Springfield businesses have been singled out and attacked by merciless and meticulously planned automobile strikes. One local retail storefront per month has been crushed by high-speed attack. “Ramming storefronts is just wrong. I mean, we have complaint boxes for suggestions […]
