All Entries Tagged With: "parody"
Urban Warrior Color Run This Weekend!?
Springfield, MO – According to someone awesome, two epic races have been positioned to collide unexpectedly this weekend to create the Urban Warrior Color Run – a merger of the Springfield Urban Warrior Challenge and the Color Run. Unbeknownst to many race participants, start times and days were misinterpreted to create this one of a […]
Murder Story Followed By Happy Weather Report
Springfield, MO – In recent news, a horrible story regarding one person murdering another person was quickly follow up by a snappy upbeat weather report! Weather is commonly used to soften the blow to viewers after an unsavory piece of bad information is shared. News teams have relied upon the weather to transition from gruesome […]
Office Worker Lives A Lie During Bracket Water Cooler Conservation
Springfield, MO- Winston Baxter had to face yet another day of deceit and deception when he had to fake a basic knowledge of NCAA tournament play. Winston, who knows nothing about any form of sports whatsoever, feels that unless he tricks his fellow co-workers to believe he knows/cares about college basketball he will not be […]
Hobo Trap Set Downtown!
Springfield, MO – A giant cage used for catching hobos has been placed on west Phelps Street in downtown Springfield. Baited with loose cans and broken dreams the trap is part of a plan to rid the city streets of unsightly vagabonds. City Officials hope that the new effort will revitalize a once vibrant neighborhood. […]
Time Traveler Warns Springfield About New Walmart’s Impact
Springfield, MO- A crowd was amazed yesterday when a time traveler hailing from Springfield’s near future decried the construction of the new Neighborhood market on Campbell Street. The traveler, named Kyle Reese, said that the market will spell doom for downtown, Springfield, and the world. Wearing super futuristic glasses and hair all spiked up and “future […]
“Southwest” Missouri State–Airline Purchases Naming Rights to University
Springfield, MO –The arrival of Southwest Airlines to the Ozarks is bringing yet another change – naming rights to Missouri State University. The agreement was announced on Wednesday and many fans and critics were quick to passionately express their feelings regarding the University’s nomenclature. “I’m so excited about the global implications of the new airline […]
Sperm Donations Boxes Now Available
Springfield, MO – Local donation boxes have recently appeared around the Ozarks with a different type of gift in mind, the gift of life. Sperm donations are rising in popularity and donation boxes are rapidly filling street corners next to traditional donation boxes for clothing, food and shoes. Sperm boxes are spreading in popularity across […]
Southwest Lands in Southwest Land
Southwest Missouri – Southwest Airlines took another step towards providing service and dominating in all southwestern locations in the continental US by safely landing their Boeing 737 this week at Branson Airport. “It is our vision to be an airline provider to every corner of the world, especially those located within geographical proximity to where […]
Doomsday Preppers Invade SGF RV Show
Springfield, MO- Last weekend the Springfield RV Megashow was a huge success for average RV connoisseurs, as well as, a huge influx of Doomsday preppers. Usually, the Megashow target audience includes older males seeking the comfort of home coupled with the adventure of the road, but once a group of preppers noticed the size and […]
Melting Snowmen Teach Children Inevitability of Death
Springfield, MO- With the melting of last week’s snow, many Springfield children are learning about the changing of the seasons, the water cycle, and the inevitability of death. Area snowmen, who were lovingly crafted by children of all ages, slowly wasted away in a powerful metaphor of morality. “Yes kids, watch as the snowman slowly […]
Locals Disagree Over Use of Train Junk in Jordan Valley Renovations
Springfield, MO – Jordan Valley: West Meadows is currently entering the first stages of receiving a major cleanup and redevelopment. The once thriving rail way is being transformed into a new park and greenway for the city of Springfield. Efforts are currently underway to recycle abandoned train garbage and filter soils contaminated by overturned boxcars […]
Southern Springfield Winter Wonderland, Northern Springfield Frozen Hellscape
Springfield, MO- This week, winter weather both devastated and beautified Springfield depending on the location. Light ice and snow turned Southern Springfield into a Norman Rockwell type winter paradise with laughing children creating snow forts, sledding, and enjoying playful snowball fights. The northern part of town had heavier snowfall and ice transforming it into a […]
New Downtown Walmart Offers Cool Hipster Hangout
Springfield, MO- With the new Walmart successfully rezoned near downtown, Walmart Spokesmen assures downtown regulars that this won’t be their “Father’s Wal-Mart”. The downtown Walmart is promised to bring a vibrant, cultural experience to area youths. “Listen, we understand what you cats are jiving about,” says 58 year old Walmart public relations manager, Kurt Stevens, […]
