All Entries Tagged With: "lol"
Diners Scramble at Scramblers
Springfield, MO—Scramblers diners were sent scrambling after a rogue driver plowed a gas meter and electrical box. The diners were hustled out of the establishment as a precautionary measure by a manager who shouted “Scramble! Scramble! Get Out!” Scramblers at West Chestnut Expressway was packed at the time and several Customers weren’t immediately sure what […]
City Dyes South Avenue Green
Springfield, MO—City officials announced they plan to dye South Avenue kelly green in observance of St. Patrick’s Day. Citing the lack of a central river bisecting the city, the government has decided to go with the next best option: a prominent downtown street. Mayor Jim O’Neal said, “Given my last name has an ‘O’ and […]
McGregor Students Find Where The Sidewalk Ends
Springfield, MO—Local students found that there is a place where the sidewalk ends, before the street begins and near where the grass grows soft and white, where a huge truck must have traversed the walk where they were consumed in plain sight. One McGregor student victim said, “Let us leave this place where the concrete […]
Local Video Store takes on Netflix, Redbox
Springfield, MO – A local movie rental company believes their business model is sound. It just needed some tweaking to compete with Netflix and Redbox in the Southwest Missouri market. “People love shopping at video rental stores,” said local Movie Holla’ Manager Dewey Dom. “The drive to the store, the smell of it, arguing with […]
Google’s Fiber Could Make Springfield Go 100x Faster
Springfield, MO—Local government officials have unanimously approved a resolution to support the city’s participation in the Google Fiber Communities project to increase “download regularity”. “Chronic web constipation is a problem I face everyday. Getting stopped up while downloading a movie is something I just can’t stomach,” said Joey Saddle, sophomore at Missouri State University. According […]
Tanning Tax Talk Tightens, Wrinkles
Springfield, MO—A looming tax may be applied to tanning salons to foot the bill for healthcare reform. Local owners are preparing for the worst by increasing tanning bed fees by 10% to cover the proposed tax, which could take effect this summer. “I used to think that going to tan was boring, but now that […]
Snowplow Driver Creates Snow Maze
Springfield, MO—Kyle Hertz, a local snowplow driver for the City of Springfield created the area’s coolest snow maze out of boredom yesterday in the Battlefield Mall parking lot. Hertz was credit with the artistic, mind-challenging creation after several hours of work and tedious snow plowing. According to sources, Hertz was seen plowing excess snow into […]
