All Entries Tagged With: "humor"
Email Hackers Snatch Spamalot! Tickets
Springfield, MO – Ticket sales have improved thanks to dozens of email hacking groups purchasing large blocks of seats to the Springfield Little Theatre’s production of Spamalot!, opening this week. The show, a musical comedy “lovingly ripped off from” the 1975 film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, is a highly irreverent parody of the […]
Sink Hole Produces Giant Potato
Springfield, MO – A massive potato was uncovered from a sink hole near the intersection of Cox and Walnut Lawn on Tuesday. The unusual find was confirmed by City workers who had been securing the area since Monday. The potato reportedly near 6 tons and could produce 1.4 million French fries. Neighbors were shocked to […]
Mail-Order Bride Expo
Springfield, MO – This weekend saw a Mail-Order Bride section added to the popular event held at the Springfield Exposition Center on Saint Louis Street. Admission was $5.00 but purchasing a wife was much more expensive. “We’ve always wanted to enhance our bridal experience and this year we added several new bridal gowns, floral arrangements […]
Sign Lighting Sends Message to Mum
Springfield, MO – During a ceremonial lighting tonight of the new History Museum sign, a momentary secret message was sent to mothers across the pond; the coded communication read, “Hi to Mum”. Officials were able to bypass the programming seconds after the subject matter was revealed, but not before the stunt went viral. “I caught […]
Law Enforcement Surprised Ozarks Actually Imports Meth
Springfield, MO – Police officials are puzzled by a new study which shows that the Ozarks are actually a major importer of the addictive drug known on the street as Meth. Said one source, “to be honest, we thought we were a pretty major exporter.” The news was alarming to exporters as well. “I thought […]
Child Enrolls Parent into School Online
Springfield, MO – For students wishing to pull an early school year prank registering their parents into class is easier than ever. For the first time Springfield Public Schools is offering online registration for students who are new to the district, with one click online enrollment can be achieved by any nefarious student wishing to […]
MO Rodeo to Feature President Taft as Next Clown
Sedalia MO – After attracting a landslide of negative press over the weekend, the Missouri Rodeo Cowboy Association has decided to forego any reference of President Obama and focus on less polarizing political figures such as President William Howard Taft. An MRCA spokesperson released a statement explaining that Taft was a Republican and after serving […]
Waynesville Family Evacuates Flooding to New Orleans
Waynesville, MO – Citing numerous irritations with dangerous flooding conditions, several people are considering making a move to higher ground, the Jerome’s are planning to evacuate to New Orleans, LA because, “I trust their levee system and can’t remember the last time they had any issues with flood waters,” said Dwight Jerome, head of the […]
Protestors Impeach President Obama, Get Biden
Springfield, MO – A group of seven protesters armed with flags and signs lined the Cherry Street overpass to U.S. 65 rallying for President Barack Obama’s impeachment as rush hour traffic whizzed by yesterday which lead to the literal impeachment of President Barack Obama. According to witnesses, after the protest Article One of the United […]
MSU Serves Bear Steaks
Springfield, MO – Missouri State University’s agriculture program is now offering a proprietary selection of Bear beef cultivated from a 3,300-acre working cattle ranch. The Bear ground beef, steaks and roasts are available at specialty meats stores in Springfield. The Bear beef is offered at a premium price point but that isn’t deterring students, alumni […]
Tax Free Weekend Very Taxing
Springfield, MO – After four hours of searching, Shawn Hummerly of Nixa, was found curled n the fetal position near the Battlefield Mall Starbucks covered in trash. His wife and children reported him missing while shopping during the tax free holiday. “When we found him, he was muttering to himself a sort of chant ‘tax […]
Fail Sign August
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