All Entries Tagged With: "humor"
Man, Not Dancer Stabs Man in Back at Gentleman’s Club
Springfield, MO – Men are accustomed to being stabbed in the back by women at gentlemen’s clubs, however, this past weekend a man actually stabbed another man in the back for a change at Centerfold. Both patrons and employees of the club expressed disbelief that the age-old stereotype has been turned around. “I am used […]
Springfield Police Disarm Man by Train Tracks
Springfield, MO – It was reported recently that Springfield City Police had disarmed a man near the train tracks on N. Kansas Expressway, in what was believed to be a stand-off. However, in a drastic and dyslexic turn of events, it was found that the man had actually been disarmed by the train itself according […]
Bad Teeth, Use of Phrase “Crikey” Oust British Fugitive in Ozark
Springfield, MO – A British fugitive was recently found in Ozark, MO trying to blend into his local surroundings. Authorities say they were tipped off by local residents as the man smelled of cabbage and haggis. The accused is said to have pulled off the “perfect crime” by driving off in a security van with […]
Missouri Primary Results Show We Can Waste Money!
Springfield, MO – Several voters turned out to vote in Missouri’s meaningless Republican primary to prove that Missouri can waste a crap-ton of money on a meaningless and painfully boring activity such as voting for politicians. “Yeah, voting is so much fun!” sneered Nancy Huffingtonmunch, a nasty old woman who felt compelled to volunteer to […]
Squirrels Express Themselves Via Pine Cones
Springfield, MO – Local squirrels busied themselves by creating a work of word art made from pine cones this past week – communicating an important message of “Booobz”. The pine cone script expressed several emotions by passerbys near the intersection of National and Bennett streets. “I was sitting inside Mexican Villa enjoying sweet sauce and […]
Black Ink Comics – February
Check out more comics at BlackInkComics.com
DGB Chooses to Stay at HHS for 1 More Year
Springfield, MO – The nation’s number one high school recruit, Dorial Green-Beckham declared his intentions on national signing day with a stunning proclamation: to stay at Hillcrest High School for one more year before signing a letter of intent with an institute of higher learning. “DGB felt that he really needed more time to make […]
Farmer’s Market Throw-Down
Springfield, MO – GSFM has thrown down the gauntlet, tripped and stabbed themselves in the grass-fed heart following a unanimous decision among a limited group of short-sighted members (about 3 people). Following a closed vote where members were not allowed to voice their opinion, GSFM dictated that anyone wanting to participate in the Farmers Market […]
Nobody To Vote For…Bummer
I proclaim that none of the top candidates running for the GOP nomination are electable. Mitt Romney, while currently leading the pack, seems to say all the wrong things at all the wrong times and his condescending demeanor at the debates makes me want to give this guy the kind of wedgie you don’t recover […]
Don King Arrives in SGF 30 Minutes After His Hair
Springfield, MO – Don King’s hair arrived at the Springfield Branson Airport a full 30 minutes before the legendary boxing promoter. King was scheduled to arrive yesterday but was delayed when he leaned backwards and his hair fell 2 time zones behind him. “Only in America can a man be in 3 time zones at […]
Kaleidoscope Pierces Building Just Because It Can
Springfield, MO – Local trend-setting retail shop Kaleidoscope pierced an entire building just because they can. The building piercing was executed under supervision of several construction supervisors and 2 health inspectors. The piercing was performed as a promotional event to emphasize how piercings can be applied just about anywhere. “Yeah I hired Kaleidoscope to pierce […]
Pink Pony, Purple Burrito Collide: Pink-ish-Purple Pony Burrito Formed
Springfield, MO – In a strange and unexplained coincidence the Pink Pony and Purple Burrito have merged forces to produce a Pink-ish-Purple Pony Burrito available this week to the Ozarks. The Pink-ish-Purple Pony Burrito is a hybrid. Part food, part food porn, the 215-pound edible monstrosity comes complete with a stripper jumping out of the […]
Apple Tent Opens at Target
Springfield, MO – Reports of an Apple Store coming to the Ozarks are being held under tarp and rope in the Target parking lot at Primrose & Glenstone. Local shoppers are excitedly anticipating the tent flaps to fly open and Macbook Airs to fly out at discounted prices. Jerry Donwhat said, “Man, I just know […]
