All Entries Tagged With: "comedy"
Sign Lighting Sends Message to Mum
Springfield, MO – During a ceremonial lighting tonight of the new History Museum sign, a momentary secret message was sent to mothers across the pond; the coded communication read, “Hi to Mum”. Officials were able to bypass the programming seconds after the subject matter was revealed, but not before the stunt went viral. “I caught […]
Law Enforcement Surprised Ozarks Actually Imports Meth
Springfield, MO – Police officials are puzzled by a new study which shows that the Ozarks are actually a major importer of the addictive drug known on the street as Meth. Said one source, “to be honest, we thought we were a pretty major exporter.” The news was alarming to exporters as well. “I thought […]
Child Enrolls Parent into School Online
Springfield, MO – For students wishing to pull an early school year prank registering their parents into class is easier than ever. For the first time Springfield Public Schools is offering online registration for students who are new to the district, with one click online enrollment can be achieved by any nefarious student wishing to […]
MO Rodeo to Feature President Taft as Next Clown
Sedalia MO – After attracting a landslide of negative press over the weekend, the Missouri Rodeo Cowboy Association has decided to forego any reference of President Obama and focus on less polarizing political figures such as President William Howard Taft. An MRCA spokesperson released a statement explaining that Taft was a Republican and after serving […]
Waynesville Family Evacuates Flooding to New Orleans
Waynesville, MO – Citing numerous irritations with dangerous flooding conditions, several people are considering making a move to higher ground, the Jerome’s are planning to evacuate to New Orleans, LA because, “I trust their levee system and can’t remember the last time they had any issues with flood waters,” said Dwight Jerome, head of the […]
Protestors Impeach President Obama, Get Biden
Springfield, MO – A group of seven protesters armed with flags and signs lined the Cherry Street overpass to U.S. 65 rallying for President Barack Obama’s impeachment as rush hour traffic whizzed by yesterday which lead to the literal impeachment of President Barack Obama. According to witnesses, after the protest Article One of the United […]
MSU Serves Bear Steaks
Springfield, MO – Missouri State University’s agriculture program is now offering a proprietary selection of Bear beef cultivated from a 3,300-acre working cattle ranch. The Bear ground beef, steaks and roasts are available at specialty meats stores in Springfield. The Bear beef is offered at a premium price point but that isn’t deterring students, alumni […]
Tax Free Weekend Very Taxing
Springfield, MO – After four hours of searching, Shawn Hummerly of Nixa, was found curled n the fetal position near the Battlefield Mall Starbucks covered in trash. His wife and children reported him missing while shopping during the tax free holiday. “When we found him, he was muttering to himself a sort of chant ‘tax […]
Fail Sign August
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Drug Dealers Question Hourly Fees at Parks
Springfield, MO – The rules have been around since 2001, but recently drug dealers have complained about fees for making deals at Springfield-Greene County parks. Many professional drug daddys don’t have offices; instead, they have their drugs inside their car. Their fiends choose a location for their drop and it is usually at a […]
Ozark Empire Fair Introduces Fried Cashew Chicken on a Stick
Springfield, MO – Fairs have long been associated with different, new ways of preparing fried food, but this years’ extraordinary culinary award has been given to a vendor who is providing fried chicken bites on a stick with a bit of cashew sauce as a gravy for dipping. The fried food committee praised the new […]
Flyboard Fishing In the Ozarks!
Bennett Springs, MO – The hottest new extreme watersport to hit the Ozarks is a combination of flying boarding and fly fishing, known collectively as flyboard fishing. The independent activities of fly fishing and fly boarding were serendipitously fused together by two local entrepreneurs who had the vision to connect a relaxing pastime to a […]
EFO Hunters Arrive in SGF
Springfield, MO – A few days after an EF-O tornado touched down in Springfield’s center city, a group known as EFO hunters arrived to collect evidence and research the eerie weather phenomenon first hand. Experts in EFOology, the scientist and researchers are searching for answers to the age old question: do EFOs exist. EFO […]
Ozarks Dutch Oven Group Enjoys Trapping Farts
Springfield, MO – With a simple sheet and a few grunts and gasses, members of the Ozarks Dutch Oven Group are making memories and sharing a pastime activity that reaches back hundreds of years. The act of trapping a person under bed covers after releasing vile butt fumes, known as the Dutch oven, was important […]
