All Entries in the "Living" Category
Classic Car Owners Wave All Weekend
Springfield, MO—Drivers of classic cars spent a good deal of time this past weekend driving around town waving to each other. The friendly sign of acknowledgement was displayed whenever one driver of a historic vehicle crossed paths with another driver of a restored antiquated mode of transportation. The preferences for cars from a bygone era […]
Dickens Cider Comes To Friday Farmer’s Market
Springfield, MO—Rumor has it that the Friday Farmer’s Market in downtown Springfield is about to get bigger and tastier with addition of a legendary local favorite — Dickens Cider. The Dickens Cider family recipe has been handed down for generations and has recently gained popularity with locals for its apparent health benefit. Speaking on condition […]
ROTFLMAO Laughing Yoga Studio Opens Soon
Springfield, MO—Laughter yoga classes will be offered next month at ROTFLMAO located in the Glen Isle Shopping Plaza on South Glenstone avenue. Laughter yoga or laughter therapy promises to relieve stress and strengthen the immune system through strange body movements and hysterical fake laughing. Combining the art of yoga with the element of laughter is […]
May Horoscopes
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Ozarkers do the Artsfest Shuffle
Springfield, MO—Thousands of Artsfest attendees participated in the Artsfest Shuffle this past weekend, moving their feet at half the speed of normal pace. Slow walking and sidestepping were the main dance moves of choice among the herd of people who strolled Walnut Street. “I’d always heard Artsfest was so crowded that you had to do […]
Petition for More Annoying Petitions Circulates
Springfield, MO—Among the recent onslaught of annoying petitioners in downtown Springfield, a new petition has begun circulation to increase the amount of petitions. Zebediah Kennard, local artist and self-proclaimed downtowner, remarked, “I’m really glad this new one came along, for a while there it seemed like all the petitions were about to dry up!” Recently […]
Tindle Mills Demolition Smells Familiar
Springfield, MO—A local dog food factory’s destruction is releasing a nasty fragrance not experienced since the operation was producing smelly dog food. Tindle Mills was known regionally for emitting a foul sulfur odor while in production, a smell now revived by the buildings’ demise. “Once we started tearing down that tower it released a gaseous […]
Sock Monkey Stinks Up Award Show
By Snawt T. Buble Springfield, MO—With noticeably heightened security, Monday evening’s nearly perfect Blogaroni award ceremony was marred when a local sock monkey, Silly Willy, staged a silent protest to call attention to the “total disregard shown all imaginary blog writers” at this year’s event. Willy, a well known downtown sock monkey and suspected blogger, […]
Billboard Doctors Smoke Regularly
Springfield, MO—A new billboard in town features doctors and nurses wearing gowns, scrubs and coats and proclaims “We’re regular smokers”. The medical community is frustrated by the advertisement suggesting that doctors and nurses endorse smoking. Nurse Katie Whoah crushed a butt into the ground with her foot and said, “that’s just ridiculous, the medical community […]
April Horoscopes
Fair City News is proud to present monthly horoscopes to help readers navigate life’s hills and valleys.
New Signs Promote New Sign Locations
Springfield, MO—City officials hope that new signs located around town will better inform citizens on the best place to find new signs. Originally meant to point tourists to locations such as Bass Pro Shops, Battlefield Mall and Commercial Street, the new wayfarer signs will instead point to new sign locations. “We were so proud of […]
Local Man Outraged Sushi House Won’t Prepare Cheeseburger
Springfield, MO – Ozark resident Jim Stancil left Nakato’s Japanese Steakhouse irate after the chef refused to prepare a cheeseburger for Stancil’s picky daughter. Stancil was planning a special anniversary dinner when co-worker Bill Timson suggested he take his wife to Nakato’s. Stancil said, “Bill told me this place was romantic or some crap like […]
Missouri Highway To Be Renamed After Other Famous Liar
Jefferson City, MO—Mark McGwire highway could be renamed after another famous Missourian who told tall tales and spun a web of lies to achieve fame and fortune; Mark Twain. “Why do we always got to name a highway after someone who isn’t exactly telling the truth?” pondered one Springfield native as he placed a brown […]
Supreme Court Ruling Celebrated By Running Red Lights
Springfield, MO—Erve Hollins, a local resident, celebrated the Missouri Supreme Court’s unanimous decision to strike down use of red light video/still camera enforcement systems by running as many red lights as possible today. The landmark decision forced the City of Springfield to immediately disable all of its traffic law monitoring equipment and invalidates hundreds of […]
March Horoscopes
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