All Entries in the "Business" Category
Overwatch Manor Doghouse Biggest In Missouri
Highlandville, MO—Construction crews are bringing the largest doghouse to the Ozarks, and once completed will be one of the biggest dog homes in America. Visible from HWY 65, the canine fortress will reside next to Overwatch Manor and be known as Overwatch Kennel. Records indicate Steven T. Huff, founder of Overwatch Systems, is listed on […]
AgroMix Ozarks Fails To Deliver
Nixa, MO—It seemed like the perfect business plan in the red-hot social media boom, but a Nixa man’s agriculture-themed photo sharing site folded today, mere hours after its initial public offering failed to draw a single investor. “She’s as stillborn as a two-headed calf,” bemoaned LarryEarl Smith, founder and creator of the now defunct AgroMix […]
Gillioz Bankruptcy Boosts Ticket Sales
Springfield, MO—According to sources, the “going out of business” hype surrounding the Gillioz Theatre has been the best PR any business could hope to have. From the time the original loans were called in to the announcement of filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, ticket sales have been rapidly rising. “When I heard the theatre […]
Northtown Mall-Mart Still a Mall
Springfield, MO – Owner of the Northtown Mall on Kearney and Glenstone fears that Wal-Mart is scaring off other tenants. “Yes we are still a mall,” stated the owner. Its not hard to see how this is confusing to Springfield residents as Wal-Mart seems to have overtaken the Northtown Mall structure with its new super […]
Lunar Eclipse Gives Eclips Salon Boost
Springfield, MO—Recently, local hair studio Eclips has seen a huge surge of interest given the lunar Eclipse occurring this week. The hair-cuttery has even fielded requests for a special lunar deal. The strange coincidence between the similar names has given new attention to the salon. “I think if we bring in a picture of the […]
Google Crushes Local Mom and Pop Search Engine
Springfield, MO – Bob and Erma Matthews have been running Bob and Erma’s Search Engine for fifty one years from a small storefront on St. Louis Street. Those days will soon be coming to an end as Bob says they just can’t compete anymore. “The Google is just so fast, with access to so much […]
Expedia Expands Into Airport Services
Springfield, MO—The internet travel company Expedia recently opened a new operations center in the old terminal building at the Springfield Branson National Airport, and now they’re moving deeper into the travel industry by offering air traffic control services. “We were already on the airport grounds, so we thought why not diversify and expand into air […]
Riverside Bridge To Be Stored At Heer’s Building Temporarily
Ozark, MO – In light of the recent troubles that have befallen the beloved and beleaguered Riverside Bridge of Christian County, local politicians have devised a seemingly foolproof solution: they intend to store the bridge in the Heer’s Building in downtown Springfield until all of the legal issues can be hammered out. “Really, if you […]
Hammons’ Statue Tells Fortunes for Quarter
Springfield, MO—To dispense the considerable business knowledge acquired by local hotelier, John Q. Hammons, his likeness has been converted into a fortune telling machine. Those who seek business knowledge can be transformed from business novice to savvy professional one quarter at a time. “Let’s be honest, John hasn’t felt very good recently. We were looking […]
Renovation Approved: Heer’s Boarded Up
Springfield, MO—After years of negotiating, the Heer’s department store building will finally receive the renovation it has been waiting for: a good boarding up. The new plans to board up the building will be the first improvement the property has seen since 1994. “The Heer’s building has been deteriorating for years. This boarding up is […]
Vacant Lot Home to Developing Vacant Lot
Springfield, MO—A prime piece of land that has been vacant for years in downtown Springfield will soon be developed, city officials announced on Tuesday. The 1.7 acre lot between the Springfield Expo Center and the Jordan Valley Car Park has seen plan after plan fall through, but starting next month construction will begin on The […]
Southwest 3 On Its Way
Springfield MO – City officials announced today that the new City Utilities Southwest 2 power plant is such a big hit with the public, that plans for a new Southwest 3 power plant will soon be on its way. “After Southwest 2 was completed, I met with construction and union people and we all agreed […]
CU “Colon Blow” Continues at SW 2 Power Plant
Springfield, MO—Attempts to clean out boiler pipes of any debris at the new Southwest 2 Power Plant have local residents snickering every time a steady hiss of steam erupts from the plant. “I guess the natural gas they are using in the boiler needs a way out, too bad it is so loud, like a […]
MSU Receives TWI Alien Message On Lawn Art
Springfield, MO—MSU students received a message from aliens from the Altair solar system last night while hanging out at the giant space discs located at Grand and National Street. According to reports, the students were relaxing on what they considered works of art when they reportedly received thirteen 71 x 71 pixel images that included […]
FCN Employee Fired After Un-Funny Statement
Springfield MO - John Williams a 12 year employee of Fair City News was fired today for non funny statements made to a local television station. According to questionable sources John Williams was walking his dog in Phelps Grove Park when he was approached by a reporter from KOLR channel 10. The reporter asked him […]
