Author Archive for FairCityNews.com
Mike the Intern
April. Flowers are blooming, things are growing, love is in the air and it makes me sick. So while you are out hooking up with everyone before the semester ends, I am going to sit here and write out the greatest breakup songs of all time. And then go get drunk. When combined with […]
Diverging Diamond Necklace Unveiled at Justice Jewelers
Springfield, MO – Responding to consumers’ demand, and nodding to the unique traffic solutions employed around town, a local jeweler has recently unveiled the Diverging Diamond Necklace. The necklace pays homage to the diverging diamonds found in several Ozarks intersections. “We wanted to celebrate a traffic win for our area. We were the first to […]
Downtown Businesses Expected to Open Secondary Shops in Farmer’s Park
Springfield, MO – According to city code 34.356987, all downtown businesses are now required to open a second location at the new Farmer’s Park. While several businesses have complied with the new regulation others are more reluctant to make the investment. cheap cialis from canada You do not have to go through erectile dysfunction. The […]
Cox South Bungee Jumping Therapy Heals with Thrills
Springfield, MO – Results are coming back positive from an experimental therapy involving a bungee jump at a Southside hospital. Cox South has been treating patients with their Bungee Jump Health Towers installation for the past few months and has experienced impressive recovery rates. “We are always looking for new ways to treat our patients,” […]
Sea Salt French Fries on Display at Art Museum
Springfield, MO – On Thursday, The Art Museum will unveil Natural-Cut Sea Salt Fries — revamped french fries of 100% russet potatoes, cut with the skin on, sprinkled with sea salt. The move comes as sea salt has set consumer hearts aflutter and invaded American mindsets. In 2010, 1,350 new products with sea salt as […]
Meek’s to Open Downtown Gown and Lumber Boutique
Springfield, MO – An unlikely business has jumped on board the downtown renovation momentum. Meek’s has opened Meek’s Gown and Lumber Boutique on the northeast corner of South and Walnut. Meek’s VP of regional development, Andy Walser, acknowledged that it was a unique choice saying, “It will be the first of its kind anywhere in […]
College Station Gravel Museum Celebrates Seven Year Anniversary
Springfield, MO – Touted as one of the premiere gravel museums in the world, College Station Gravel Museum in downtown Springfield, plans to celebrate tonight with an open house free to the public. “It’s hard to imagine that it has been seven years,” says curator, Scott Fillmen. “When we opened back in 2007 our goal […]
Ozarkers Thankful for Endless Winter
Springfield, MO – Residents had reason to celebrate yet another winter storm this week as thundersleet, snow and freezing temperatures blanketed the Ozarks. Locals had feared that another winter weather pattern wouldn’t been seen until next year but those fears were relieved when the old man winter crapped out another round of shitty weather. “I […]
LEGO® Releases Hammons Tower Set
Springfield, MO – Designed by a LEGO fan, the new LEGO Hammons Tower (77053) will be available for purchase this spring. Creator Matt Plither, a Springfield native, submitted the design to LEGO CUUSOO, a site where LEGO designers can submit projects, gains supporters and receive royalties if a product concept is chosen for production. Plither’s […]
On Campus Rule Prompts Drury-ville Camps, Lean-tos
Springfield, MO – Following news requiring most students to live on campus, several hooverville-esque tent camps have sprouted around the university grounds. Citing mounting debt concerns, hundreds of students are planning to tough it out on campus in makeshift shelters to abide with the new code. “I’m looking forward to the sense of community we […]
Group Fart Propels SGF Into the Future
Springfield, MO – The entire population of our fair city was thrust forward into time this weekend after hundreds of people trouser coughed at once while at the 33rd Sertoma Chili Cook Off at the EXPO Center. The consolidated butt honk lurched the entire city into the future by 2.5 seconds. “It was very stange…one […]
Blowing Wind Generates 10 Years of Energy During One Turbine Job
Springfield, MO – Capitalizing on intense wind speeds, one single wind turbine located off Highway 65 generated enough power to supply the city of Springfield for 10 years in just under one 12-hour shift. The wind gusts kept the fans spinning faster and longer than any previously recorded time in recorded history. “The wind turbine […]
Captain Larry Don Tests New Submarine Ride
Lake Ozarks – New owners of the popular tourist attraction recently tested an underwater component to the boat attempting to submerge it beneath the water’s surface. The boat previously had been a floating vessel only and has spent more than 70 years performing the same task. “We felt that our restoration attempts could include an […]
Ozarkers Brace for Warmer Weather
Springfield, MO – Local residents beaten down by the frozen temperatures are bracing themselves for absolutely gorgeous weather ahead. Shedding the heavy jackets is something that will be required as the mercury rises but many Ozarkers are resistant to the coming change. “My winter coat is so, so comfortable,” said Natalie Filuster, “I’m not sure […]
